Disipline

Hey, to all mummies or future mummies. I came across these when I was surfing the net this morning. Since Lunz is already a toddler, I looked through the toddler section and found some useful tips. At toddler age, kids tend to be more rebellious than those baby times. Perhaps you would find the below tips useful:

Q: Do toddlers misbehave on purpose?
A: Because a toddler does not truly understand right from wrong, it is doubtful that he is misbehaving on purpose or out of spite. Misbehavior is more likely to be occurring for one of these reasons:

• Because they learn by experimenting, toddlers constantly test cause and effect. ("What will happen if I turn my cup of juice over? What will mommy do?")
  
  
• A toddler may be distracted rather than disobedient. If he is absorbed in building with his blocks, he may not have "heard" daddy call.
  
  
• A toddler's impulse control is weak. Although he heard you say that pulling the cat's tail is wrong, he cannot yet restrain his urge to do it.

It will take years of guidance from you and other caring adults to develop the self-control that leads to good behavior.

Q: Is it okay to offer rewards in return for cooperation?
A: When you are trying to get a reluctant toddler to do things your way, you'll want to encourage him to see things your way. But be careful to stay away from outright bribes ("I'll give you a lollipop if you stop screaming in the store"). They'll only encourage your child to say "no" next time so that you'll offer a treat as a reward.

It is okay to entice your toddler with the benefits of his cooperation. Think more along the lines of, "Let's get you dressed in pajamas now so that we'll have time to read a book before bedtime."

Your toddler may also be more cooperative if he is offered a choice (the blue pajamas or the green ones?).

Q: Is spanking harmful?
A: Most experts agree that physical punishment does more harm than good for several reasons:

• It is not useful in helping children learn self-discipline. Instead of learning right from wrong, they learn to obey only because of fear.

• It teaches children that it is okay to hit or be violent when they are angry or upset.

• Physical punishment can harm your child physically and emotionally.

• Spanking can make the child angry at the parent, potentially making them more likely to take revenge on the parent by continuing to misbehave.

Experts tend to recommend brief isolation, commonly known as a "timeout," as a more effective means of punishment.

Q: How does a "timeout" work?
A: A "timeout" is a brief isolation of a child from attention, toys, and fun. It is designed to allow an out-of-control toddler to regain control.

Timeouts should be served in a safe, quiet place (a playpen, a chair) away from the action. Keep a hand on toddler's shoulder if necessary in order to make him sit still.

For toddlers, a timeout of a minute or two is usually enough to make an impact.

Q: How can I discipline effectively?
A: Some helpful principles include:

• Catch them being good. Noticing good behavior helps to reinforce it. You don't want your toddler to think that the only way to get your attention is to misbehave.
  
  
• Don't protect your toddler from the consequences of his actions. If he deliberately throws his cookie on the floor, then no more cookies.
  
  
• Give a warning, but then follow through if toddler misbehaves. It's fair to let toddler know when he's is on the verge of trouble. However, if you don't act if doesn't change his ways, your warnings will quickly lose their meaning.
  
  
• Explain, in simple terms, why he is being punished so that he begins to see the connection between his actions and the consequences. Carrying out the punishment immediately will also help his understanding of cause and effect.
  
  
• Be consistent. Do not randomly change the rules. And be sure to enforce them consistently, or your toddler will be confused.
  
  
• Ensure that all adults in the house and all caregivers agree to and understand the rules of discipline for your toddler. If the rules vary from person to person, toddler will be confused.