Daddy picked us up for Christmas Eve's dinner after work on Wednesday and we headed off to Mines. Wouldn't wanna be caught in traffic jam should we traveled to any places further than that. Some how, we have lost the enthusiasms to stay out late for night parties or to crowded places. So, we decided to settle down for a nice and peaceful dinner. After dinner, we took Lunz for a walk outside the mall. He insisted to look at the fishes in the canal. I noticed that all the fishes went missing unlike previously, there were swarms of them on the surface of the water. Maybe the management has allocated them away which I wasn't very sure. So, my little boy kinda felt disappointed failing to locate any signs of the fishes. Then, he said he wanted to go up the connecting bridge whilst pointing to the bridge. So, we took him for a walk up the bridge. He kept on looking down at the gaps of the wooden bridge as we walked. His grip tightened around our hands when he noticed that it was water underneath the bridge. But later, after several ups and downs the bridge, he kinda like it already!
Recalling back to the dinner scene, I had to carry him and pushed his hand with all my mighty strength towards the hand wash basin for him to wash his hands. He had fries using hands, so of course, he gotta washed them (his hands) afterward, but his reluctance to go near the wash basin was so high as if the basin was a humongous monster that would swallowed him up if he goes near. The story behind was, he got frightened by the hand dryer machine when he went to the basin to wash his hands during one of our trip to Burger King. He was practically standing under the dryer (due to his height) waiting for his turn to wash his hands when the dryer sensored human presence and carried out its job. So, the air blowing noise scared him off. Since then, he is very reluctant to wash his hands at the basin if we are to eat outside.
So, back at Mines, I gotta carried an uncooperative 20kg fella twisting here and there, trying so much to flee himself to the wash basin to wash his hands. And when I was done with him, I saw that the man queuing behind me was smiling at the little one's action. I was embarrassed but at the same time laughed at this silly little boy. I managed to grab daddy a surprise Christmas present because I just wanted to cheer him up. We both had agreed earlier on not to waste any money to buy each other Christmas presents because there are still many occasions such as our anniversary, Chinese New Year and my birthday lining up next month. So, we decided to skip this one but we did bought Christmas gifts for Lunz instead. Even though that was the initial agreement, I felt that sometimes we need to pamper our partner's soul. A gift, regardless of the price will showed the opposite that we care and cherish them. Surprises are definitely good for the soul. That's why I got him something but little did I know we share the same thought. Maybe we just want to cheer each other up and feel happy about it.
When daddy was young, his dearest mum used to put Christmas pressies next to him on the bed at night when he was asleep and told him that Santa delivered his gift when he woke up the next morning. It was a lovely thought of cheering your kids up the moment they open their eyes the first thing on Christmas Day to see the surprise. She is a great mother and although I know that I don't have the chance to get to know her, she will forever be greatly remembered by us. Therefore, we decided to continue the practice to our children. To leave the pressies next to them when they have fallen asleep and get the surprise first thing on Christmas morning.
When he woke up, he saw the 2 nicely wrapped presents on his bed but he dare not touched them. After we told him that those were meant for him and urged him to unwrapped them, he made no hesitation anymore. He tore the wrapping paper apart to discover a huge bouncy ball and a box of paint-and-mold underwater creatures which includes his most favorite starfish! (That's why I bought it ;P).
Then I noticed a wrapped up jewelry box on my dressing table. No doubt. My Christmas gift! It was a white gold chain and a matching pendant. I hardly wear any necklace since I had lost mine several years ago. But it was a very nice thought from daddy indeed. I will be wearing his gift from now on. He, in exchanged got a useful Nike pouch from me where he can dumped all his property inside without having to concern which compartment to slot them on his pants.
Then we headed for a 2 to 3 hours walk in Jusco. I got daddy a Hush Puppies leather slip on shoes for 20% discount and told him that that would make up for our anniversary gift from my side.
Who knows? Maybe we will surprise each other again? ;)
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Phonics ABC
Since I started to show him some videos on youtube, he has been pestering daddy to let him see those videos from his computer everytime when we were around at his house. He would say to us, Ae, Be, Ce....Ae, Be, Ce....or Lots of Shapes...Lots of Shapes...Lots of Shapes...
Those are his two most favourite videos recently. Actually, it all started with Pingu videos from youtube. But you know lar, one video always lead to another. And we eventually found out that youtube had fantastic ABC videos that I can't possibly find in those video shops. Even I have to spend my whole evening ransaking the videos in those shops, I can hardly get something like this. It has all sorts of learning videos such as Phonics ABC, shapes, numbers, colors and etc. But the trouble is, each video only lasted at about 3 minutes the most. So, we had to sit and watch along with him and clicked for a new video when it finished.
Then, daddy being the computer expert, saved all the videos in his computer and automated them to play accordingly. No hassle for us to click for him all the time. It really helps the kid a lot especially the Phonics ABC. The idea of phonics is that you teach your children the various sounds that English letters have. The advantage of this over simply teaching the alphabet is that once they have mastered the main sounds, they can then read many English words!
He is now pretty good at the Phonics pronounciation from A to Z. That is the wonder of videos!
Those are his two most favourite videos recently. Actually, it all started with Pingu videos from youtube. But you know lar, one video always lead to another. And we eventually found out that youtube had fantastic ABC videos that I can't possibly find in those video shops. Even I have to spend my whole evening ransaking the videos in those shops, I can hardly get something like this. It has all sorts of learning videos such as Phonics ABC, shapes, numbers, colors and etc. But the trouble is, each video only lasted at about 3 minutes the most. So, we had to sit and watch along with him and clicked for a new video when it finished.
Then, daddy being the computer expert, saved all the videos in his computer and automated them to play accordingly. No hassle for us to click for him all the time. It really helps the kid a lot especially the Phonics ABC. The idea of phonics is that you teach your children the various sounds that English letters have. The advantage of this over simply teaching the alphabet is that once they have mastered the main sounds, they can then read many English words!
He is now pretty good at the Phonics pronounciation from A to Z. That is the wonder of videos!
Friday, December 12, 2008
A Child Is A Blessing Star
Having a baby is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to a woman. It's not just a duty of bringing a life into this world and feed him till he matured, till he has his own life. It's the whole journey and experience that matters. A journey filled with love, guidance, care and responsibility beginning with the tiny little fetus in a mother's womb for 9 months. Whatever she do and whatever she eat, she would think of the benefits that are in store for the baby. Even still in the womb, the mother has already begun feeding him, educating him, sharing emotional ups and downs, breathing as one, listening to each others heartbeat and telling each others about everyday's feelings. The bond between a mother and her child is undeniably strong.
I do not understand why certain mothers can give up their children easily or cases where mothers threw their newly born babies away or buried them alive to avoid facing the society. What has human became of? How on earth can a mother be so cold-blooded? I was always saddened by such news. And I must thank God I didn't lose him for if it happened, my life wouldn't be as complete as it is now.
It takes a lot of effort for a mother to provide guidance in her child's life. But of course, in return the rewards are full of laughter and joy. She would always think for her child first before settling for herself. Educating him, loving him, she would do anything to protect her little one. She will make sure he has food on his table, she will bathe and change him, she will teach him, she will play with him, she will goes to bed with him and she will be there for him every moment providing every love and care. Making total sure that his daily needs are fulfilled regardless. Nothing can ever come in between a love of a mother and her child.
As he grows, she will watch his every step. She will watch him start his first school. She will watch him advance till he graduate from university. She will watch him married and have children. She will watch every moment of his life till her very last breath....
I do not understand why certain mothers can give up their children easily or cases where mothers threw their newly born babies away or buried them alive to avoid facing the society. What has human became of? How on earth can a mother be so cold-blooded? I was always saddened by such news. And I must thank God I didn't lose him for if it happened, my life wouldn't be as complete as it is now.
It takes a lot of effort for a mother to provide guidance in her child's life. But of course, in return the rewards are full of laughter and joy. She would always think for her child first before settling for herself. Educating him, loving him, she would do anything to protect her little one. She will make sure he has food on his table, she will bathe and change him, she will teach him, she will play with him, she will goes to bed with him and she will be there for him every moment providing every love and care. Making total sure that his daily needs are fulfilled regardless. Nothing can ever come in between a love of a mother and her child.
As he grows, she will watch his every step. She will watch him start his first school. She will watch him advance till he graduate from university. She will watch him married and have children. She will watch every moment of his life till her very last breath....
If you love something, you have to let it go
If it comes back to you, it is yours
If it doesn't, it never was
If it comes back to you, it is yours
If it doesn't, it never was
Merry Christmas
Hah.....I finally can have my own sweet time for some blogging. Those days although I wrote on my blog, I had to be quick and just for the sake of updating my blog. Those were the days I was packed with loads of work. But since some of the events had passed, I have a little free time to myself. All I need to do is to prepare for a trip to Las Vegas in early February and roadshows in March 09. I thought that at least those will keep my time occupied during working hours.
Now, I even have more free time when I learnt that the Las Vegas trip was canceled yesterday. Gone was all my previous efforts to arrange for it. *Sigh* Well, I can't do anything much other than felt a bit dissapointed because that was what I was paid for. To work and to obey orders from upper management. Disappointment was due to partly because I missed the chance to land on Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps and mainly because of the senior management's attitude. But at least, I am certain to have more time spent with my family during CNY and ample time to prepare myself for the court hearing on the month of February itself.
Lunz is extremely talkative lately. He knows how to the sing the Happy Birthday song in Mandarin version. I was so surprised when I heard him sang one day. And it has to be in sequence meaning you have to sing the English version first, wait for him to say, "One more time" before you can proceed with the Mandarin version. If you repeat the English version again, he will definitely correct you and tells you it's supposed to be in Mandarin. Hehehe....
Apart from that, although he hasn't start schooling at the moment until January next year, I noticed that he has beginning to form sentences and replied rationally to some of the things I said. For example, I was putting him to bed one night and told him, "Go to sleep la bi, it's getting late". Then he replied me, "Tomorrow go Darling house ok?". I was like.....OK...this boy knows how to bargain with me already. There were times I played peek-a-boos with him during bedtime and some got him so frightened, he burst into tears. Then I had to cuddle and 'sayang' him back and he will be alright. Guess he just want to be 'manja-manja' with me.
Christmas is approaching. Just around the corner of this month. I always wanted a Christmas tree for my baby. Because now he knows what a Christmas tree really is based on his favorite cartoon, Mickey's Christmas. The cartoon was about Pluto who went missing after being scold by Mickey for spoiling the entire room's Christmas decorations. All because of Pluto wanted to help to place the deco of a STAR on the tree top but unfortunately stumbled and made a mess. So, my little baby always on the look-out for STAR on top of every Christmas tree and he will yell while jumping up and down happily when he saw one. But unfortunately, I don't think there is enough space for me at home to place the tree. I guess I will have to wait until I have my own house. Then I can do anything I pleased. Meanwhile, the only places that I can bring him to see Christmas decorations are shopping complexes. They sure are beautiful!
Merry Christmas!
Now, I even have more free time when I learnt that the Las Vegas trip was canceled yesterday. Gone was all my previous efforts to arrange for it. *Sigh* Well, I can't do anything much other than felt a bit dissapointed because that was what I was paid for. To work and to obey orders from upper management. Disappointment was due to partly because I missed the chance to land on Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps and mainly because of the senior management's attitude. But at least, I am certain to have more time spent with my family during CNY and ample time to prepare myself for the court hearing on the month of February itself.
Lunz is extremely talkative lately. He knows how to the sing the Happy Birthday song in Mandarin version. I was so surprised when I heard him sang one day. And it has to be in sequence meaning you have to sing the English version first, wait for him to say, "One more time" before you can proceed with the Mandarin version. If you repeat the English version again, he will definitely correct you and tells you it's supposed to be in Mandarin. Hehehe....
Apart from that, although he hasn't start schooling at the moment until January next year, I noticed that he has beginning to form sentences and replied rationally to some of the things I said. For example, I was putting him to bed one night and told him, "Go to sleep la bi, it's getting late". Then he replied me, "Tomorrow go Darling house ok?". I was like.....OK...this boy knows how to bargain with me already. There were times I played peek-a-boos with him during bedtime and some got him so frightened, he burst into tears. Then I had to cuddle and 'sayang' him back and he will be alright. Guess he just want to be 'manja-manja' with me.
Christmas is approaching. Just around the corner of this month. I always wanted a Christmas tree for my baby. Because now he knows what a Christmas tree really is based on his favorite cartoon, Mickey's Christmas. The cartoon was about Pluto who went missing after being scold by Mickey for spoiling the entire room's Christmas decorations. All because of Pluto wanted to help to place the deco of a STAR on the tree top but unfortunately stumbled and made a mess. So, my little baby always on the look-out for STAR on top of every Christmas tree and he will yell while jumping up and down happily when he saw one. But unfortunately, I don't think there is enough space for me at home to place the tree. I guess I will have to wait until I have my own house. Then I can do anything I pleased. Meanwhile, the only places that I can bring him to see Christmas decorations are shopping complexes. They sure are beautiful!
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Room Restructuring
One of the wooden panels from our queen-sized bed was broken last week. So, we had to replace it with another new bed. We are keeping the mattress of course, because it was still very new. So, since we were moving the furniture a bit, the idea of separating Lunz bed from us came into mind. Firstly, this was because he likes to twist and turn even during his sleep and although he has his own bed, he will still turned around and landed on our bed (because our bed were joint to each other at the same height). And this woke me or daddy up, whoever was sleeping next to him on that time. And it happened many times in a single night. Secondly, we thought that he was old enough to sleep separated from us. Sooner of later, he will have his own room and he must get used to sleeping by himself. So, we started off now still in the same room but separate beds for the time being. Thirdly, the decision was made due to he does not consume night feeding anymore, so, I wouldn't fear him waking up in the middle of the night looking for me.
At first, we thought of discarding the wooden frames and just lay the bed on the floor. Lunz steel bed will remained at its height. But, I worried that without our bed as the barrier, he will roll down from the bed. So, we proceed with fixing the wooden frame for our queen-sized bed but dismantled his steel one instead. We replaced it with a wooden roller bed. Now, the height of his bed including the mattress was only 24 cm from floor length. We took out the roller from the bed, of course, to stop the bed from moving. With this new height, we wouldn't be afraid that he will roll down from his bed and knock himself nor him turning around till he wake us all up. His bed was perfectly placed next to our bed but of course much lower and not the same height anymore.
It worked out pretty fine. One the first night, he kept rolling down from his bed on to the floor. He noticed that he has fallen out from bed and quickly climbed back to resume his sleep. I wasn't worried because at that height, he couldn't hurt himself. On the second and third night, he has gotten more used to it. He didn't roll down anymore but occasionally tried to squeeze himself up on to our bed to sleep with us. We placed him back again, he did not complained and fell back into sleep immediately. I assumed he was still blurred.
Besides that, another change was daddy now sleeps next to him instead of previously me.
At first, we thought of discarding the wooden frames and just lay the bed on the floor. Lunz steel bed will remained at its height. But, I worried that without our bed as the barrier, he will roll down from the bed. So, we proceed with fixing the wooden frame for our queen-sized bed but dismantled his steel one instead. We replaced it with a wooden roller bed. Now, the height of his bed including the mattress was only 24 cm from floor length. We took out the roller from the bed, of course, to stop the bed from moving. With this new height, we wouldn't be afraid that he will roll down from his bed and knock himself nor him turning around till he wake us all up. His bed was perfectly placed next to our bed but of course much lower and not the same height anymore.
It worked out pretty fine. One the first night, he kept rolling down from his bed on to the floor. He noticed that he has fallen out from bed and quickly climbed back to resume his sleep. I wasn't worried because at that height, he couldn't hurt himself. On the second and third night, he has gotten more used to it. He didn't roll down anymore but occasionally tried to squeeze himself up on to our bed to sleep with us. We placed him back again, he did not complained and fell back into sleep immediately. I assumed he was still blurred.
Besides that, another change was daddy now sleeps next to him instead of previously me.
It's a F-R-O-G!
My baby currently is very good with question like, "What's this?" when he do not know about the names of certain things. He expects you to tell him what was that and he will tried to memorize it. But the next time, if he couldn't remember, he will ask again "What's this?". The most funny thing that I encountered during the past weekend was he certainly knew what kind of noise I made. I was practically busy repeating "Berebep...berebep...berebep..." in front of him. Just to simply disturbed him and suddenly he said, "It's a frog!". I was very very surprised.
I mean I have never told him a frog make such sound. How on earth did he know that that was a frog?? The power of TV perhaps? Hmmm.....kids! They are always the unimaginable.
I mean I have never told him a frog make such sound. How on earth did he know that that was a frog?? The power of TV perhaps? Hmmm.....kids! They are always the unimaginable.
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Documentary of My life
My life has gone through tremendous changes even at a young age. For I am only 26 years old but I have gone through many ups and downs in my life that I thought will not happened to me earlier. But who knows? At least, as of so far, I'm currently living a happy and joyful life.
I don't come from a well-to-do family like most of my friend does. Even as a teenager me, I had to work during school/uni term breaks to support my family and myself. I envied all my friends that had the opportunities to go for vacations during school holidays while I had to work. Even my brothers themselves chose to have a jolly time during school holidays instead of trying to help out the family. They were very much unlike me, for I will choose to lighten the burden off my mum's shoulder. Despite the financial situations that we encountered, I must say we lived a happy life. The whole household was never silent. There were always laughters around. Me and my brothers, even my mum is an open and hilarious person. We kept the house fun to lived in.
Then, my father started to behave strangely and one fine day, I still remembered my mum was crying while she was ironing our clothes. I do not understand why at the age of 13 year old me when I saw her crying. Then, I finally realized what had happened. We went through a lot from there. I still remembered the scene where I knelt in front of Kuan Yin Goddess till the incense finished burning to its last flame, begging HER to bring him back to us. Luckily in the end, he turned back, for if not, I think he will regret it for the rest of his life. There goes our happy family trying to resume our happy lives. This continues until my elder brother decided to shift out with his girlfriend even before their intention to get married. I saw the sadness in my mum's eyes but she could do nothing than to let them go. Gone from there onwards a brother that has shared so much with me. He has always loved me so much, every night sharing our bedtime chats. He is the type of brother who knocked off whoever that bullies his little sister. But since the moment he walked out, he brought the love away with him. Until now, we hadn't got much to talk anymore especially since he already has a family. And also, from the moment he disagreed with the decision that I have made....
Despite whatever that happens, I excelled academically. I still remembered there was this Indian girlfriend of mine who sat beside me and always like to copy my schoolwork. Who knows, the world is round and eventually now she is even earning higher than me and doing her Masters as well. What a funny thing for I think what is the used to excel so well academically when I just couldn't do as good in my career? Beg me pardon, not that I'm underperformed. It's the prospect of job from what I had studied in Uni that is not doing very well. They said a good education leads to a good job. No doubt but sometimes we can just landed and got stuck on the wrong planet.
For I thought I loved this man that I have been through for 6-7 years. A man that I determined to marry and live the rest of my life with. A man that I wished to know everytime when I looked at him on how will my child look if he fathered it. But it was only sadness that concealed me everytime I looked at other children thinking I was supposed have one but I have to let it go due to both of us were still young at that time. Year passed, again unfortunately, he started to behave rebelliously once he know I wanted to settle down with him even despite me carrying his second child this time. He was not ready for all these, he said. I went through a hell lot, disappointments, emotional strains and breakdowns, draining me both physically and mentally wanting him only to accept me and his child. I still remembered Yenny trying to console me with words like "Don't be sad, the baby will know it and you wouldn't want him to be sad either". The only thing that I had that time were just comforting close sisters and family. They were the only one that witnessed how painful I were at that particular moment.
However, I still managed to settle into marriage with him despite the fact that he had ignored earlier, i.e., we had already registered our marriage a year ago before I had this child. I had tough time, really really tough time trying to tame him down, getting him accustomed to our marriage. Few times I ran away from his home due to sadness and disappointments. As time passed, he managed to settle down eventually and things went on fine until I discovered an affair of his merely 2 weeks before my childbirth due date. Another trauma started again and forgiveness took place considering the birth of my child soon.
My life was completed with my son's presence to my world and it was only then I knew he was all that it matters. We managed to live a normal life for about 1 year after Lunz's arrival when all the misunderstandings, mistrust and arguments took place. We had many sequence serious fights and divorce was brought up over and over again until I couldn't bear it and eventually gave him what he wants. If that is what he wants, he will have it.
We were separated since and it took me 9 months to get over and through with it. In this 9 months, I have been asking myself whether this was right for me and my baby? I eventually made a choice and never looked back since.
He came into my life at my most downfall, offering every bits of advices and comforts to me. Promising with his every breath, willing me to give him a chance to take care the both of us. And, that person was Daddy. He was there with me when I had all the emotional struggles. He was always there giving full supports, defining things for me and yet hope nothings in return. We were together since despite strong objections from family members even my mum as well. That was where I had a big fight with my elder brother. He saw that I was not mending my marriage where in fact he does not know the story behind it. He accused me. No one knows how hard I fight to get the happiness I wanted. The life that I finally deserved. Time, is the only thing that I could rely on to make them understand.
My mum eventually turned towards me and gave me her full support despites having to swallow all the hard accusations from my brothers that she was siding me in everything. And that she was awfully blind. Ever since then, I vowed to prove them wrong! As time passed, slowly everyone begins to realize that I have made the right choice. Time has done its job.
I was a happy woman since. There is no lacking of love for my son. He has my everything in the world. Although I admitted that sometimes me and daddy has our own opinion on things that might lead to little arguments but which couple doesn't? As long as there is no damage to our love and pride, it only made our relationship stronger. And as for a man he is, he loves my kid exactly how a man would love his own child. I noticed he had a smile craved across his face everytime he looked at Lunz even until now and for times to come.
I am just half way through with my life and yet I experienced everything at a young age. From pregnancy to childbirth, marriage to divorce and all the ups and downs in my life. I knew perhaps others has the same destiny as mine or even for worse but I wanted to document it down for at least should I unable to tell him his mummy's life, he will be able to know from here.
I have always wanted to have someone calling me "Mummy" and now I have one that kept calling me "Mimi, are you OK?" along with all his mischievous little actions. I have always wanted to travel around the world and now I have got a job that my friends envied. A job that sent me to places that I can only dream of going previously. I have wonderful friends around me that just keep me laughing everyday or the moments I spent with them. I have a fun and supporting parents and the MOST important thing, I have a man that loves my son no lesser than I do.
And for now, is this what being said as living life to the fullest? You betcha! ;)
I don't come from a well-to-do family like most of my friend does. Even as a teenager me, I had to work during school/uni term breaks to support my family and myself. I envied all my friends that had the opportunities to go for vacations during school holidays while I had to work. Even my brothers themselves chose to have a jolly time during school holidays instead of trying to help out the family. They were very much unlike me, for I will choose to lighten the burden off my mum's shoulder. Despite the financial situations that we encountered, I must say we lived a happy life. The whole household was never silent. There were always laughters around. Me and my brothers, even my mum is an open and hilarious person. We kept the house fun to lived in.
Then, my father started to behave strangely and one fine day, I still remembered my mum was crying while she was ironing our clothes. I do not understand why at the age of 13 year old me when I saw her crying. Then, I finally realized what had happened. We went through a lot from there. I still remembered the scene where I knelt in front of Kuan Yin Goddess till the incense finished burning to its last flame, begging HER to bring him back to us. Luckily in the end, he turned back, for if not, I think he will regret it for the rest of his life. There goes our happy family trying to resume our happy lives. This continues until my elder brother decided to shift out with his girlfriend even before their intention to get married. I saw the sadness in my mum's eyes but she could do nothing than to let them go. Gone from there onwards a brother that has shared so much with me. He has always loved me so much, every night sharing our bedtime chats. He is the type of brother who knocked off whoever that bullies his little sister. But since the moment he walked out, he brought the love away with him. Until now, we hadn't got much to talk anymore especially since he already has a family. And also, from the moment he disagreed with the decision that I have made....
Despite whatever that happens, I excelled academically. I still remembered there was this Indian girlfriend of mine who sat beside me and always like to copy my schoolwork. Who knows, the world is round and eventually now she is even earning higher than me and doing her Masters as well. What a funny thing for I think what is the used to excel so well academically when I just couldn't do as good in my career? Beg me pardon, not that I'm underperformed. It's the prospect of job from what I had studied in Uni that is not doing very well. They said a good education leads to a good job. No doubt but sometimes we can just landed and got stuck on the wrong planet.
For I thought I loved this man that I have been through for 6-7 years. A man that I determined to marry and live the rest of my life with. A man that I wished to know everytime when I looked at him on how will my child look if he fathered it. But it was only sadness that concealed me everytime I looked at other children thinking I was supposed have one but I have to let it go due to both of us were still young at that time. Year passed, again unfortunately, he started to behave rebelliously once he know I wanted to settle down with him even despite me carrying his second child this time. He was not ready for all these, he said. I went through a hell lot, disappointments, emotional strains and breakdowns, draining me both physically and mentally wanting him only to accept me and his child. I still remembered Yenny trying to console me with words like "Don't be sad, the baby will know it and you wouldn't want him to be sad either". The only thing that I had that time were just comforting close sisters and family. They were the only one that witnessed how painful I were at that particular moment.
However, I still managed to settle into marriage with him despite the fact that he had ignored earlier, i.e., we had already registered our marriage a year ago before I had this child. I had tough time, really really tough time trying to tame him down, getting him accustomed to our marriage. Few times I ran away from his home due to sadness and disappointments. As time passed, he managed to settle down eventually and things went on fine until I discovered an affair of his merely 2 weeks before my childbirth due date. Another trauma started again and forgiveness took place considering the birth of my child soon.
My life was completed with my son's presence to my world and it was only then I knew he was all that it matters. We managed to live a normal life for about 1 year after Lunz's arrival when all the misunderstandings, mistrust and arguments took place. We had many sequence serious fights and divorce was brought up over and over again until I couldn't bear it and eventually gave him what he wants. If that is what he wants, he will have it.
We were separated since and it took me 9 months to get over and through with it. In this 9 months, I have been asking myself whether this was right for me and my baby? I eventually made a choice and never looked back since.
He came into my life at my most downfall, offering every bits of advices and comforts to me. Promising with his every breath, willing me to give him a chance to take care the both of us. And, that person was Daddy. He was there with me when I had all the emotional struggles. He was always there giving full supports, defining things for me and yet hope nothings in return. We were together since despite strong objections from family members even my mum as well. That was where I had a big fight with my elder brother. He saw that I was not mending my marriage where in fact he does not know the story behind it. He accused me. No one knows how hard I fight to get the happiness I wanted. The life that I finally deserved. Time, is the only thing that I could rely on to make them understand.
My mum eventually turned towards me and gave me her full support despites having to swallow all the hard accusations from my brothers that she was siding me in everything. And that she was awfully blind. Ever since then, I vowed to prove them wrong! As time passed, slowly everyone begins to realize that I have made the right choice. Time has done its job.
I was a happy woman since. There is no lacking of love for my son. He has my everything in the world. Although I admitted that sometimes me and daddy has our own opinion on things that might lead to little arguments but which couple doesn't? As long as there is no damage to our love and pride, it only made our relationship stronger. And as for a man he is, he loves my kid exactly how a man would love his own child. I noticed he had a smile craved across his face everytime he looked at Lunz even until now and for times to come.
I am just half way through with my life and yet I experienced everything at a young age. From pregnancy to childbirth, marriage to divorce and all the ups and downs in my life. I knew perhaps others has the same destiny as mine or even for worse but I wanted to document it down for at least should I unable to tell him his mummy's life, he will be able to know from here.
I have always wanted to have someone calling me "Mummy" and now I have one that kept calling me "Mimi, are you OK?" along with all his mischievous little actions. I have always wanted to travel around the world and now I have got a job that my friends envied. A job that sent me to places that I can only dream of going previously. I have wonderful friends around me that just keep me laughing everyday or the moments I spent with them. I have a fun and supporting parents and the MOST important thing, I have a man that loves my son no lesser than I do.
And for now, is this what being said as living life to the fullest? You betcha! ;)
No More Night Feeding???
I noticed one thing since I came back from my New Zealand trip. My baby hasn't been taking any middle of the night milk anymore. He slept soundly from night till dawn. Well, it's something good for me since I have been aiming to get rid of the night feeding but always failed to do so. It's something good for daddy also, at least I don't get him nagging at me most of the time.
Hope this situation of no more night feeding is permanent then....
Hope this situation of no more night feeding is permanent then....
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